I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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