i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
