It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
