i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
