Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
