I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
false alarm. still invincible.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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