You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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