She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
