it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
