The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize