He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He better not be in your backpack
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
