i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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