I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
