with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
