She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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