would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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