Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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