maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
