Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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