She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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