no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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