so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
