you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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