This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
