Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
