At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
