is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
