wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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