do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
