so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
