no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
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I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!