Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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