Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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