belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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