Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
