So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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