i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Damn victory sex feels great
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