as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize