You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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