My nipple is on Facebook.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
