I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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