When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
