it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
