This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
