Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
