Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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