like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
