i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
