That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
