It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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