So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
