I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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