I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
only you would photoshop your dick
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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