I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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