If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
