I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
