on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
