We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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