if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
