we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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