Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
